Why is it that we are so quick to tear each other down in order to make ourselves feel good? Why is it that we say such nasty things that we know will hurt and tear down the people that are around us in the name of “keeping it 100”? Why is it that we allow others such a great amount of control over our feelings that we allow them to set our emotions into a storm of rage that we are no longer able to control ourselves?
I believe that it all boils down to fear. It is natural to fear rejection. It is natural for us to experience a variety of emotions that do not always make us feel like we are worthy of love. I myself can honestly say that in the past I have allowed my emotions to control my actions and I have had to pay a dear price in doing so. Whether it is expressed as anger or arrogance, it is all a manifestation of fear. When we feel the need to portray ourselves anyway other than how God made us to be it is out of a need to fit in and be viewed in a light that is acceptable to the people around us. When their opinions or actions contradicts what we have worked so hard to portray our emotions begin to become imbalanced. In the past there were many people that have felt the wrath of my insecurities and fear of rejection manifested as anger and rage. I have sense then apologized to them and to God for my actions, and I know that God’s mercy redeems me from my transgressions but apologies and all, once you have opened your mouth and expressed any feeling other than love to people, you will never be able to undo the damage that has been done.
There is one whose foolish words cut like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:18 (NLV)
So what are we to do the next time the fear of rejection rears its ugly head and we find ourselves overwhelmed with negative emotion?
As we work to build our relationship with God and allow him to dig out false perceptions that we have of ourselves and heal the hurts that have created these perceptions in the first place. It is not for us to deny that these emotions do exist. There isn’t an emotion that we have that God didn’t create and doesn’t understand. All emotions were created for God’s glory! It is how we express them that makes the difference. As we grow in our patience, love, and self control, we are able to feel these same emotions but handle them better with the love of our father. We begin to let things go or not take offense as fast as we used to. We begin to be more patient and less anxious at the opinions and misconceptions of others. As God reveals his perfect plan for us and our design, the fear of rejection is cast away into the sea! When we realize that the things about us that we have worked so hard to cover up and conceal are the things that God intentionally made perfect in his site, a feeling of internal acceptance that no man can take away washes over us. It is a feeling of peace about who you are, perfectly imperfect that will allow you to speak out of pure love even when someone else’s intentions are the complete opposite. Who else but Jesus Christ could do such a thing in us? Thank the Lord he specializes in the impossible. All you have to do is allow him to do it.
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